Michigan Caucus

Oakland Unimpressed

Local paper pisses and moans about legislative pay raises - two years after the fact. Yo! Who cares?

The Oakland Press editorial board beats up on State Rep­­re­­sen­­ta­tives Marie Donigan (D-Royal Oak) and Andy Meisner (D-Ferndale) for having the nerve to propose corporate responsibility legislation.

The package of bills would eliminate “golden parachutes†given while com­pan­ies are ask­ing work­ers for con­cessions, revoke tax breaks for com­panies that vio­late pension regulations, make it a felony for com­pany exe­cu­tives to alter finan­cial records and in­crease the punish­ment for executives who retaliate against whistleblowers. Sounds square to us.

We the ...

Like a long-abused spouse, Ohio sides with its a­buser and is fighting hard for the right to have its own tax­payers fork-over some $280,000,000 to Daimler­Chrysler share­hold­ers. Yeah, that's right, they want to use their power to com­pel pri­vate citi­zens of Ohio to pay taxes and then con­vert it to a gift to Daim­ler. Listen­ing to Ohio officials tell it, if they don't do it some other state will become Daimler's bitch, er ... whore ... er, ... in­vest­ment op­por­tunity! That would be bad because Ohio would lose those great jobs Daimler's mov­ing out of the country any­way.

Happy Elevator Escalator Safety Awareness Week!

Seems like Michigan GOP Chairman Saulius "Saul" Anuzis is diss'n Gov­ern­or Gran­holm for her pro­cli­ma­tion observing ele­vator and escalator safety aware­ness week. So, the Michigan Caucus did some check­ing to see if Chair­man Saul was at least consistent when it came to former Governor Engler. Lo and behold, we found the following letter hidden deep in the GOP archives:

The 'Toonie General!

AG Cox Admits to Felony: Won't Resign

Its not everyday that the state's Attorney General admits to a felony and then refuses to step-down from office. Its even more pathetic that Cox brought his wife to the press conference where he admits to his crime. Yeah, we're being somewhat literal here, but as any good prosecutor can tell you adultery is still on the books (at Michigan Compiled Laws 750.30) and its a four-year felony (MCL 777.16a).

Looks like the union of one man and one woman (Michigan Const. of 1963, art I, sec 25, formerly known as Proposal 2) has some deeper meaning for the Attorney General. Maybe someday he'll divine it to the rest of us...

Madam Currie

We don't know which is worse, the shenanigans rep­re­sent­ed by Jackie Currie and her office or the local law en­force­ment com­mun­ity's lack of will­power to do any­thing about it. They've known about the problems for years, but the FBI, the US At­torn­ey, the Wayne County Pro­se­cu­tor, the De­troit Police Department, the Wayne County Sheriff's de­part­ment, the Mich­i­gan State Police and the Mich­i­gan At­tor­ney Gen­er­al have all ignored it. (The last of which was more busy chas­ing Man­oo­gian Man­sion Urban Le­gends than making sure that voters' votes counted). Only after the De­troit News makes it all too ob­vious that Cur­rie's office is gros­sly in­com­pe­tent, on the take or glowing green from radiation poisoning does the FBI start a pre­lim­inary probe.

Michigan Caucus prediction: it ain't radiation poisoning.

Kwame's Bounce(d Checks)

Fresh from getting publically embassared by Practical Political Consulting in Lansing for not paying $15,000 for a voter list, comes news that Kwame Kilpatrick's campign owes amounts - large and small - to other consultants. Sources close to the Michigan Caucus say that none of the consultants are willing to "out" the mayor just yet over the unpaid bills, but they are getting on edge.

The Race for Detroit Mayor

We think the voters will go for Freman, but we'll be at the party with Kwame while he still has the credit cards and the cases of Cristal! Bling! Bling!

HEALED!

BROTHERS AND SISTERS! Back in February Michael Bouchard DROPPED his run for the GOP US Senate nomination because he was AFFLICTED - AFFLICTED - with health problems. Oh, those were BAD TIMES! TERRIBLE TIMES! But now the sheriff says he is HEALED! HEALED! OH, YES, HEALED!

BROTHERS AND SISTERS! Let us all PRAISE HIM who brought the CURE! Let us all PRAISE HIM who brought SALVATION AND HEALTH! Let us all PRAISE HIM that RESURRECTED Brother Bouchard's dead campaign! That's right, let's all THANK Bishop KEITH BUTLER (R-Word of Faith) who worked miracles using his LOW poll numbers and CRAPPY standing with the GOP party bourgeoisie to REJUVENATE Bouchard's campaign for senate!

HALLELUJAH! H A L L E L U J A H !   H  A  L  L  E  L  U  J  A  H  !