Jack Hoogendyk Makeover
Originally published November 1, 2005, the Michigan Caucus decided to republish this article in light of recent news concerning Hoogendyk's, er, unÂconÂvenÂtionÂal campaign techniques. See the story here. Looks like Jack's startin' to stand-out from the crowd already!
The New "Power Conservative" Look
The old-fashioned conservative look just does not work any more. The receding hairline, the goofy grin, the D‑A‑R‑K suite, red tie, blue shirt and, oh yeah, the USA flag lapel pin only say one thing: Boring. With a capital "B." What Representative Jack (R-Kalamazoo) needs for his gubÂerÂnaÂtorÂial aspirations is a way to make himself instantly recognizable. So, the fashion experts at the Michigan Caucus have laid out a whole new look for Jack speÂciÂfiÂcalÂly designed to make him stand out from the crowd of billionaires running for public office.
Here it
is! Introducing the new "Power Conservative" look. Jack says, "I'm
so confident in my conservatism that I can handle it when people
say I more resemble some bald lesbian singer instead of a former
canÂdiÂdate for governor." And, with the new
look there's no place for lapel pins - unless you're really into
THAT sort of thing! OUCH! Instead complete the look with a
tastefully done USA flag tattoo! No longer will people say, "Jack
Who? Hoogendyk?"
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