Patterson's Second Ballot Initiative

Press Release
Patterson Looks to Reform Michigan Elections

Pontiac, Michigan, (April 1, 2006) -- Oakland County Executive L. Brooks Patterson will have a major announcement today concerning a second ballot initiative.

Saying that Michigan trails the nation in election reform momentum, Patterson proposes to revamp the way Michigan elects its public officials by randomly selecting Michigan citizens to serve in office.

“Let’s face it; voters are just too fucking dumb to be trusted to elect the right person for public office. Hell, look at how many times they’ve elected me; you couldn’t do worse if officials were picked by damn chance. So, I am announcing a ballot initiative to replace our antique electoral system where people actually vote for a candidate, with a modern system where office holders would be selected by a State Election Lottery.â€

Patterson explains that the lot­­tery would ran­­dom­­ly pick Mich­­i­­gan cit­i­zens by driv­ers’ lic­­en­se num­­ber or state ID num­­ber and place them in ran­­dom­­ly se­l­ec­t­ed pub­­lic of­fices.

“Every­one would have an equal chance of get­­ting elect­­ed gov­er­nor, council­­man or even county ex­ecu­tive. Chas­ing money for cam­paign­s and do­ing favor­s for con­trib­u­tors would be a thing of the past. I’ve al­ways hated giv­ing pre­ferential treat­ment to political sup­porters – like Big Business – and I’d be glad if I didn’t have to do it.â€

Patterson says that the State Election Lottery could also “tie-into†the regular state lottery and people could place bets on the winning number. Proceeds would then be contributed to the newly elected public official’s slush fund.

Patterson will deliver his public announcement to a private invitation-only audience on Saturday, April 1’st at 7:00 p.m. at the Blue Martini in Bir­ming­ham.  Afterwards, Patterson invites everyone to a martini tasting starting at 7:03 p.m. until about 4:00 a.m. The tasting will feature drinks from the Provenza Martini region of Ireland. If neces­sary, people can “crash†at Patterson’s office in Pontiac. Sheriff's deputies will provide limo services for those in need.

If time allows, Patterson will also give a presentation on what to do if your government-issued luxury car gets stuck on train tracks and how to handle yourself if the police stop you for suspected drunk driving. The last pre­sen­ta­tion will feature actual video of a police traffic stop by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Department. Both presentations will be broadcast on the county website and your favorite movie theater.  Check for local listings.

For more information on Patterson’s election reform campaign or to make a pledge go to www.DumbVoters.com or call 1-888-DumbVoters (1-888-386-2868).

Patterson is also available for media interviews on this issue.  For media inquiries only please contact Commissar Bob, Media & Propaganda Officer at 1-888-OAK-LAND (1-888-625-5263).

“Someone's gonna get elected, why not you!â€
L. Brooks Patterson