SPECIAL REPORT Michigan Under Attack

CHUDD Terrorists Free the Disembodied Head of Dick DeVos

(DeWitt, Michigan) Insurgents overpowered Michigan Caucus commandos in a lunchtime operation today, freeing the Disembodied Head of Dick DeVos who had been help in captivity since August 7.

In response to the escape, the Omnipotent Office of Peninsular Security (OOPS) elevated its threat alert status to “Really Hot Pink, Baby†and requested all citizens to discard any gels or liquids purchased from Amway. No reason was provided for the request, but officials suggested that it was simply a prophylactic measure.

An anonymous source close to the Michigan Caucus, who did not want his identity revealed because he didn’t want his friends to laugh at him, said the Caucus commandos were at a Greenpeace Recycling class and were not guarding the Disembodied Head when the raid occurred.

CHUDD (Conservative Hackers for Uplifting Dick Devos) took credit for the raid. “It was incredibly easy sneaking-up on the Michigan Caucus ‘Commandos,’ after-all they expected us to honor the Constitution and the Bill of Rights,†declared the CHUDD spokesperson.

“We fought to free the Disembodied Head of Dick DeVos because he’s a businessman, a job-maker and he’s got one incredibly sweet-looking ass, er, well, no, he doesn’t even have an ass.â€

Comments

[The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos]

Suckers! The Constitution is an archaic document that doesn't address the complex issues of the modern world. Be sure to stay tuned for AMERICA Turnaround Plan 2.0 for info on the replacement.

I can't say much right now (Dirty Dick told us there was a facefull of birshot waiting for anyone who spilled the beans) but let me say that it gets rid of annoying obstructions to order like the first and fourth ammendments.

CHUDD Rulez!!!

[cj]

But, what about the disembodied Heart of Betsey Devos?